Jacqueline, 45, never imagined that just two-and-a-half years into her journey as a mother, she would face the decision of sending her twin daughters, Cheryl and Eunice, to a special education school. The twins, now 20, are autistic, and Jacqueline’s focus has shifted to ensuring they are prepared for residential care and life with other caregivers once she and her husband are no longer around.
Although her hopes and dreams for her daughters have evolved, Jacqueline’s parenting philosophy has remained steadfast. “Along the journey, we have many stressful moments and unexpected events, but as long as we cope with them in small steps, it’s not that bad. We make adjustments along the way,” she says.
A Struggle for Recognition
Jacqueline’s journey wasn’t always as clear. It took years to both receive a diagnosis for her twins and come to terms with it. Initially, her concerns were dismissed by doctors, and her family was quick to label her as paranoid or overly anxious. “I got ‘slapped’ by two doctors,” she recalls. It wasn’t until the third doctor acknowledged the girls’ developmental delays that Jacqueline’s concerns were validated.
Determined to get her daughters the help they needed, Jacqueline immediately enrolled them in Rainbow Centre, a special education school, where both were diagnosed with autism. The early years were filled with overwhelming emotions of anger and sadness as she grappled with the reality that her daughters would not “grow out” of their condition.
Learning to Cope
As Jacqueline faced these challenges, she learned to set boundaries and focus on building her children up in her own way. “One plus one doesn’t equate to two—it’s much more than two,” she reflects. Despite the challenges, she celebrates the small victories, seeing progress step by step. Cheryl now communicates with single words and attends Saint Andrew’s Autism School’s Day Activity Centre, while Eunice is still working on communication but participates in various activities, thanks to Jacqueline’s meticulous planning.
Cheryl and Eunice’s days are filled with inclusive activities like rock climbing, Zumba, and hiking. Jacqueline cherishes every small achievement, noting that while there may not be big milestones, every moment counts. “I don’t have big moments or big achievements that my girls have done. But all these small moments, I cherish it very much,” she says.
Preparing for the Future
Looking ahead, Jacqueline’s biggest concern is ensuring that her daughters can live independently and thrive after she and her husband are no longer around. “What if one day I dropped dead? You never know—an accident or tomorrow, which will come first?” she asks. To prepare, she has been focused on helping Cheryl and Eunice build confidence and communication skills.
While Cheryl may eventually live in a home, Eunice will likely require a dedicated caregiver. Jacqueline also emphasizes to her youngest daughter, a neurotypical 13-year-old, that caring for her sisters is not an obligation.
A Dream for Acceptance
Jacqueline’s vision extends beyond her family. She hopes for a world where people with autism, like Cheryl and Eunice, are accepted without judgment. “Many of them would rather hide from the public because they feel they create inconvenience. But what I wish is that people with autism can go anywhere they are entitled to,” she says, striving for a future where society embraces her daughters just as they are.